A Heart that Will Keep Beating (a one shot)
by fireandice217
Summary: "It never ends well for people like me." -Bonnie Bennett - "If anything ever happened to you, I would lose my mind." -Damon Salvatore - In which Bonnie gets hurt-really hurt-and Damon promises to bring her back.


"It's okay. I've beaten death too many times. We always knew it would get me someday. And besides, I was never gonna have a normal life anyway." She smiles even as the tears streak her face. "I was never gonna have the three-bedroom house and the white picket fence-a family..." Her shoulders dip, and it takes her a moment to regain her composure, raise her eyes back to his. "But I had someone love me. And I had friends who were willing to die for me. I had you. And soon you'll have Elena again; you'll be happy again. And that's enough." She nods, willing herself to believe it. That's enough. It has to be enough.

He wants to shake her. "No, it's not."

"Damon-"

"No, listen to me, Bonnie: I am tired of you settling for less than you deserve. I am tired of your damn martyr complex, and I am not gonna sit back and watch it kill you! So, you want a normal life? You want the picket fence and a family? Then I am gonna make sure that happens for you because you are not dying tonight."

Bonnie could have a face made of stone when she wanted to, but it crumples as he talks because damn him for giving her hope, and damn him for not letting her have a peaceful death. The pounding in her head gets louder, and she lets out a wail, succumbing to the pain. "Don't you get it? I _am_ dying tonight, Damon! I'm _dying!_ It's too late for you to save me!"

"Then I'll just bring you back after you go." His response is easy; she would roll her eyes if she weren't in so much pain.

 _Sure. You'll just bring me back from the dead-a regular Tuesday for the great Damon Salvatore._ "You say that like it's easy."

"It won't be easy. But it's possible. I've done it before; I can do it again."

"And then Elena dies again. You know how this works, Damon. She can't live while I'm alive. So if you bring me back, you'll be saying goodbye to her all over again. Are you really going to do that to yourself?"

"Yes!" He doesn't even hesitate.

Her head springs up from where it's been dangling on her shoulder; she lets out a groan but doesn't break eye contact. "What?"

"Yes, I would say goodbye to Elena again. Jesus, Bonnie, I've already said goodbye to Elena for you! I've saved you and raised you from the dead! Why wouldn't I do that now? Why do you think I stopped caring?"

More tears stain her face. He wants to wipe them away: the tears, the blood, her doubts, and everything that led them to where they are now. He wants to erase all of it. He wants to erase the next words she says more than anything: "You left."

The air goes out of him. He left. He left to keep her safe. He left because she was better off without him. He left so that _this_ would never happen. Because it's impossible to love someone when you're a monster: you're just selfish enough to get close to them, but the closer you get the worse it's gonna be when you hurt them, so you leave, and then your absence hurts them. He shouldn't have left. He shouldn't have come back. He shouldn't have ever loved her in the first place. Love from a monster is a death sentence.

"I'm sorry." His voice is hoarse. "You have every right to hate me for leaving-for everything. But I'm not leaving now. I am gonna make sure you get everything you want, Bonnie Bennett."

He wants to hold her, but he's afraid he'll hurt her, so he simply holds her hand, as if to say, _that's settled_. When she finally looks at him again, her voice is tiny. He wonders if it's because of what he said or a symptom of the whole _dying_ thing. "Why?"

 _Why?_ Because he loves her. Because she deserves everything. Because the world needs Bonnie Bennett in it, just as much as she needs more time. Because this is how it's always been: he's always saved her, starting all those years ago when he made his deal with Emily Bennett. "Because I'm selfish."

Somehow, she brings herself to smile. She has more heart than anyone he's ever met. "Yeah, you are." A pause. "Thank you."

"Of course." Of course he would save her. He would always save her.


End file.
